July Dump.

Last Last by Burna Boy.

It had been 87 days of love, pain, turmoil, tears, laughter, joy and a heavy sense of trepidation. I had wanted life and peace and the things that come with love. I had gotten a mixed box instead. I had not only bitten off this forbidden fruit. I had taken a bite and then had gone ahead to consume it whole, seeds and all. And now, there is a tree of good and evil growing right inside me, spreading its roots and digging deep inside of me while I rot and decay, a bag of bones with flesh tearing apart by the way. It had been 87 days of these.

It’s been 364 days of peace and tranquillity. The pandemic showed me how much I love peace and quiet. December 2020 showed me how much I need peace and quiet. 2021 showed me how much I hate drama and run away from people who thrive on drama. I have run away from them and I keep running away.

I have been on the run ever since. Now, I am closer to rest.

“Sometimes a child with wise eyes is born. Then some people will call that child an old soul. That is enough to make God laugh.’ – The Opposite House, Helen Oyeyemi.

Hold Me Now by Hillsong United.

July was planning to go to church but not going a lot. Here’s a sad realisation: I am doing more streaming online these days. I don’t actually enjoy streaming. It does not feel the same, it never does. But we take what we can get right? It rained a lot in July. Rain means cold. Cold means ‘stay in your house’. Taking the giant leap of faith to go to church means ending up shivering in the Podium wondering why the AC has to be this high? We are in Lagos for God’s sake and we all know we are Nigerians. Turn this down a little bit. We are dying here. But then, I’ve heard some people even complain it’s not cold enough. So I guess it’s not you, it’s me. Na me get problem.

It’s hard explaining this thing so I don’t anymore. But I wanted to go to church in July and I only went like twice (not bad eh?) so yeah, it counts here in the July Dump. Hopefully, August will be better. Hopefully.

“Who’s there?
Something old? Someone holy…?”
― Helen Oyeyemi, The Opposite House

Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons

July was a boring month actually. Or maybe it was interesting but I don’t remember the interesting parts. But I know I read two books that reminded me why I always wanted to be a writer: to tell stories. I read a collection of stories by TJ Benson called We Won’t Fade Into Darkness. If you want something wild and out of the ordinary and unexpected and dystopian and weird and ‘what the hell am I reading?’…this is the book. Read it. Read it. Just read it already!

I also read The Opposite House by Helen Oyeyemi. If you want a book you will keep reading even if you don’t understand what you are reading, then try this one. The time jumps were insane. I could not keep up but I could not drop the book so I kept on reading still until I turned the final page. It’s a pretty book.

I am currently reading two books: White Teeth by Zadie Smith and The Handmaid’s Tale by Margret Atwood. Two interesting books. Hopefully, I finish them before the month runs out as I have now become a slow reader who spends considerable time laughing uncontrollably on Twitter spaces for single men and women looking to leave the streets. Not that I am in that demography. Or am I?

Loving You by Zinoleesky [because I keep hearing Asa’s voice]

I was not loving anyone in July, sadly so. I was busy marking attendance in Twitter spaces. But I was happy that I made new friends. I made two new friends and it’s been a beautiful friendship I must admit. Did you love anyone? How are you people still coupling up in this insane weather, climate, country and so on! How??? What is the cheat code???

The Silence by Manchester Orchestra.

July was boring. I am going to be honest and just come clean now, itt was actually fun, I just can’t remember most of it. I need to document more.

I went out a lot in July. I saw friends I had not seen in over six years. I also had friends over at my place a lot [which I now realize I happen to enjoy as long as they bring wine while coming]. I played Monopoly and came last – pathetic I know. I also ate a lot of meat. Too much meat. I went out every weekend in July: to see friends, to an open mic, to a soiree; so unlike me.

July died some days ago. Its memories live on.
August is here. Let’s create new memories – together.

PS. I have not made a proper announcement yet but I started a newsletter for people who enjoy reading essays. Every week, I will send out a newsletter containing an essay [not written by me] and my thoughts on the essays. If you want to receive the first edition I’ll be sending next week, subscribe here. Also, share with your friends who read. Thank you guys.

Featured image from Pexels

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